Jargon Buster!
''Agricultural Hockey'':
a style of play which involves ferociously hooshing the ball up the
pitch at such a velocity that it is hoped will bypass at least 5
defenders. Often described as "hitting
and hoping". Most suitable on gritty surfaces.
A
''Coffey Break'': catching up on the non-hockey events of the weekend,
or just the gossip generally, at inopportune moments during training, and in
particular between drills.
The Five Rules of the ''Passing''
(pronounced "Possing'') Game:
1. Pass;
2. Protect;
3. Pivot;
4. Precision;
and
5. Pass
A ''Lip Hassett'' or a "Slasher
Kelly" : a mild Terretts-like on-pitch episode which
involves discreetly uttering a variety of expletives and making
rude gestures which are directed towards the coach. Generally
triggered by phrases such as "you're too slow'' or ''quick free, quick
free, quick free''. Slasher Kelly's also tend to
be fond of terrier-like stick tackling.
''Pivoting'': a style of
play inspired by Britney's, Circus which involves playing
the centre of a pitch ''just like a pivot''. Popular among
self-important centre midfielders. ' Pivoting'' should not be confused with
ballerina style twirling: pivots
must stay solid on their two feet and
and rotate only on their strong side.
''To be ready'':
a combination of state of mind and physical composure; focus and posture.
The word ready should not be uttered whimsically or indeed quietly. Often used in a
repeated interrogative sense: REEADYYY?; REEADDYYY?;
REEADYYY?
''To love exercise'': an obsession with physical activity fuelled by impending nuptials. Prevalent
among Brides-to-be, but a continued love of exercise during the
post-matrimonial honeymoon phase is not uncommon.
By Katie Byrne